What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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