For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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