Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
