Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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