Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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