If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
