that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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