You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
