Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
