just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
