I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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