help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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