last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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