Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
