Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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