we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
