there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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