so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
