i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
