I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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