I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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