Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize