I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize