I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
