just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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