I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
