Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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