So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
