so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
