she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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