Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
