After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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