Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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