I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
