Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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