Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
