we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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