We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
