the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
