So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
