The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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