This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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