He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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