The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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