Do you still have your period?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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