If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
even my farts smell like vagina
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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