he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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