I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
