Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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