WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
