How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
