All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
being pregnant is like rehab
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
