I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
you never un-have a 4some
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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