I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They took my balls.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
