We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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