the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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