I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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