Well apparently he's into motor boating.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
