So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
