Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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