At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
